Sunday, February 5, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
January 18 and My General Dislike of Its Existence
Today was one of those days where I just woke up pissed. Not at anything in particular, but a combination of every small thing I encountered as I went about my morning. I started this post the second I got to my first class, but as January 18 sucks, I did not get to finish it and instead had to actually concentrate on my school work. The nerve of this day!
So first off all when I woke up this morning, I was waking from a dream where I was waiting tables and looked down to realize I was naked. Apparently in the world in which my dream was set this was a normal occurrence, but I was mortified all the same and was desperate to get clothes. Unfortunately they were upstairs and I didn't want to go upstairs because then everyone would see me naked, so I resolved to hide behind the computer and sulk in my shame.
Of course I didn't want to get out of bed, so I laid there for twenty minutes falling in and out of sleep until I realized that I have to be a big girl and get the hell up for class. Then I thought, "Ooh! I'll be a responsible grown-up and make myself breakfast!" but I had to get ready so my awesome boyfriend got up and made one for me! So sweet :) Now back to why I hate everything. The smoothie then gave me brain freeze and I didn't even get to finish it because I had to leave.
Then I realize it's freezing outside and this genius left her damn coat in the car last night. I hate the cold, and I want it to go away. Every time I walk outside now I just get angry and resentful at the fact that I am frozen stiff rather than lounging on a beach somewhere in a bikini. Damn seasons.
While driving to school I notice that every single radio station is completely disrupted by static. I think by this point the universe realized how angry I was and just wanted to mess with me, because every single time I found a song I really liked, it would be clear for just long enough to make me happy and then become immersed in static and interruptions from other radio stations.
But wait! I might just make it to school on time for once! I pulled into the parking lot 2 minutes before class, with just enough time to park my car and make it up the hill by 9 am. However, I forgot to take into account how SHITTY Shorter's parking is. If you get there at the ass-crack of dawn, you might have a chance at finding a spot. However, otherwise you are subjected to a maze of complicated and poorly-designed parking lots with random one-way signs and dead ends, and if you're late all the time like me, you have to park like this:
Although the picture does it little justice, you'll notice that my car is parked sideways on the edge of a hill. In order to get out, I had to launch myself out of my car against the insistent pull of gravity and fighting my car door not to slam on me. Oh, and I was still late to class.
So by 9 am this morning, I had already decided that January 18 sucks.
So first off all when I woke up this morning, I was waking from a dream where I was waiting tables and looked down to realize I was naked. Apparently in the world in which my dream was set this was a normal occurrence, but I was mortified all the same and was desperate to get clothes. Unfortunately they were upstairs and I didn't want to go upstairs because then everyone would see me naked, so I resolved to hide behind the computer and sulk in my shame.
Of course I didn't want to get out of bed, so I laid there for twenty minutes falling in and out of sleep until I realized that I have to be a big girl and get the hell up for class. Then I thought, "Ooh! I'll be a responsible grown-up and make myself breakfast!" but I had to get ready so my awesome boyfriend got up and made one for me! So sweet :) Now back to why I hate everything. The smoothie then gave me brain freeze and I didn't even get to finish it because I had to leave.
Then I realize it's freezing outside and this genius left her damn coat in the car last night. I hate the cold, and I want it to go away. Every time I walk outside now I just get angry and resentful at the fact that I am frozen stiff rather than lounging on a beach somewhere in a bikini. Damn seasons.
While driving to school I notice that every single radio station is completely disrupted by static. I think by this point the universe realized how angry I was and just wanted to mess with me, because every single time I found a song I really liked, it would be clear for just long enough to make me happy and then become immersed in static and interruptions from other radio stations.
But wait! I might just make it to school on time for once! I pulled into the parking lot 2 minutes before class, with just enough time to park my car and make it up the hill by 9 am. However, I forgot to take into account how SHITTY Shorter's parking is. If you get there at the ass-crack of dawn, you might have a chance at finding a spot. However, otherwise you are subjected to a maze of complicated and poorly-designed parking lots with random one-way signs and dead ends, and if you're late all the time like me, you have to park like this:
Although the picture does it little justice, you'll notice that my car is parked sideways on the edge of a hill. In order to get out, I had to launch myself out of my car against the insistent pull of gravity and fighting my car door not to slam on me. Oh, and I was still late to class.
So by 9 am this morning, I had already decided that January 18 sucks.
Rebellion and Denial
My hair tends to have a mind of its own. I think it is some kind of extension of my personality in that it is constantly doing whatever it wants no matter how much I would like for it to look presentable and stylish. For example, my hair is wavy but sometimes I wake up and there is one particular strand that sticks up above all the others, making me look somewhat lopsided:
Do you see it? Do you see the crazy hair on the left side? It doesn't look too bad in the picture but it was sticking out about 2 inches. As I was about to walk out the door for class I realized it might be a good idea to look in the mirror, and this fuckery is what I was met with. Sighhh, my hair will always be nonconformist.
Onto my more troubling problem, I think I am literally in denial about the seasons. It is January right now, but for the past week I have had dreams about the beach and frolicking happily in the sunlight beating down on ocean waves. I then wake up cold and angry as I realize that it is 30 degrees outside and I am nowhere near the beach. However, spring break is coming up soon and I am going to Israel. Although this may not be the ideal "vacation" spot, I am suuuuuuper excited and can't wait to go! I've heard it's pretty toasty there, so to "prepare for the sun" I went to the tanning bed yesterday. In the middle of January. Sure it will probably keep me from frying when I'm exposed to the Middle-Eastern sun, but the main reason is that being at the tanning bed reminded me of summer, and I was able to escape to my fantasy world for ten blissful minutes.
It's official. I'm so desperate for summer I am living in complete denial. Don't be surprised to find me sunbathing next to a covered pool with a CD of ocean sounds in the near future.
Do you see it? Do you see the crazy hair on the left side? It doesn't look too bad in the picture but it was sticking out about 2 inches. As I was about to walk out the door for class I realized it might be a good idea to look in the mirror, and this fuckery is what I was met with. Sighhh, my hair will always be nonconformist.
Onto my more troubling problem, I think I am literally in denial about the seasons. It is January right now, but for the past week I have had dreams about the beach and frolicking happily in the sunlight beating down on ocean waves. I then wake up cold and angry as I realize that it is 30 degrees outside and I am nowhere near the beach. However, spring break is coming up soon and I am going to Israel. Although this may not be the ideal "vacation" spot, I am suuuuuuper excited and can't wait to go! I've heard it's pretty toasty there, so to "prepare for the sun" I went to the tanning bed yesterday. In the middle of January. Sure it will probably keep me from frying when I'm exposed to the Middle-Eastern sun, but the main reason is that being at the tanning bed reminded me of summer, and I was able to escape to my fantasy world for ten blissful minutes.
It's official. I'm so desperate for summer I am living in complete denial. Don't be surprised to find me sunbathing next to a covered pool with a CD of ocean sounds in the near future.
Attack Kitty!
Now that Sushi has realized the power of her claws and teeth, she has taken to pouncing on everything at every given opportunity. Usually her prey ends up being my keys, my feet when I am walking around the house, my homework, my pencil when I am writing, or anything she can drag into her lair, which is under my bed. However, I love her new method of attack, which is pouncing full-force onto objects and wrapping her jaws and feet around them. Observe:
Saturday, January 14, 2012
How to Boil Water
I have been cooking since I was old enough to read, largely because I never had an Easy Bake oven and resorted to using a real one instead. This was mainly under the supervision of my mother who cooked a homemade dinner from scratch every single night, and taught me all she could about how to prepare food. Since then I have loved to cook, bake, and entertain, and was convinced for at least 4 years of my life that I was going to go to culinary school and become a master chef of my own restaurant. Every Christmas I bake vast amounts of food for people as gifts, managing to make several varieties of treats in a matter of hours and still have time to clean the entire kitchen before I go to bed. I have cooked dinner for friends, gotten up at ungodly hours of the morning to cook mother's day or birthday eggs Benedict for my mom who gets up at 5:30 am, and have no trouble with complex baking directions. But for the life of me, I cannot master simple tasks in the kitchen.
The other day, for example, I wanted to make rice to go with a chicken dish my grandparents gave me. What could be simpler than rice? I did what I assumed was the correct first step and put on some water to boil, then went to my room to wait for it to bubble - this was my first mistake. Yes, there is something simpler than rice, and that is boiling water. But somehow every time I put on water to boil, my ADHD kicks in and I completely forget about it and walk into the kitchen fifteen minutes later with half of the water evaporated, or I put a lid on the pot to prevent evaporation so the water simply bubbles over and splashes with hissing noises all over the stove, or I turn on the wrong stove eye entirely and wonder why the water has been sitting there for five minutes and not started simmering yet. So, back to the rice. When I remembered that I was in the process of preparing food, I dashed back to the kitchen and was greeted by a cloud of steam swirling over my stove top from the water which was now madly boiling at full capacity. I grabbed the box of rice and dumped the entire thing into the water to let it cook, completely forgetting to season it in any way. When the rice was done cooking, I realized that I had vastly underestimated the expansion qualities of rice. I was aiming to prepare maybe enough for 2 people, but apparently the entire box produces enough for about 10. So now I had at least 9 leftover portions of unseasoned rice which I had absolutely no intentions of eating. Fortunately I never had to eat them because this happened:
Fail.
Other obstacles which I frequently face in the kitchen include frozen pizzas and Pillsbury cookies, which I burn almost every time I attempt to make them. I also have issues with Ramen noodles and Easy Mac, as I always put too much or too little water in them. Any simple task in the kitchen I will probably find a way to mess it up, but if you need someone to cook a four course dinner in a limited amount of time, I'm your girl.
The other day, for example, I wanted to make rice to go with a chicken dish my grandparents gave me. What could be simpler than rice? I did what I assumed was the correct first step and put on some water to boil, then went to my room to wait for it to bubble - this was my first mistake. Yes, there is something simpler than rice, and that is boiling water. But somehow every time I put on water to boil, my ADHD kicks in and I completely forget about it and walk into the kitchen fifteen minutes later with half of the water evaporated, or I put a lid on the pot to prevent evaporation so the water simply bubbles over and splashes with hissing noises all over the stove, or I turn on the wrong stove eye entirely and wonder why the water has been sitting there for five minutes and not started simmering yet. So, back to the rice. When I remembered that I was in the process of preparing food, I dashed back to the kitchen and was greeted by a cloud of steam swirling over my stove top from the water which was now madly boiling at full capacity. I grabbed the box of rice and dumped the entire thing into the water to let it cook, completely forgetting to season it in any way. When the rice was done cooking, I realized that I had vastly underestimated the expansion qualities of rice. I was aiming to prepare maybe enough for 2 people, but apparently the entire box produces enough for about 10. So now I had at least 9 leftover portions of unseasoned rice which I had absolutely no intentions of eating. Fortunately I never had to eat them because this happened:
Fail.
Other obstacles which I frequently face in the kitchen include frozen pizzas and Pillsbury cookies, which I burn almost every time I attempt to make them. I also have issues with Ramen noodles and Easy Mac, as I always put too much or too little water in them. Any simple task in the kitchen I will probably find a way to mess it up, but if you need someone to cook a four course dinner in a limited amount of time, I'm your girl.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Birthday Tree!
Today is my mom's birthday, 50th to be exact but you'd never guess it! She looks at least ten years younger. Being the quirky and festive soul that she is, she has always wanted a year-round Christmas tree to decorate according to the seasons. So for her birthday I bought her a fake tree and decorated it in a winter theme (she loves snow and was born in a snow storm), then hung pictures of things she likes all over it I've included Charlie Brown, Dr. Seuss, favorite Looney Tunes episodes, British comedies, and other various things. Maybe it's a weird concept to some, but her reaction was worth it because I could tell she felt special. Love love love my mommy!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Priorites
It has come to my attention in the past few days that some of my priorities may be somewhat skewed. Of course I get the important stuff done, bills and work and such, but what I chose to do with my spare time is starting to concern me. Every time I come in the apartment, the first thing that I notice is silence, which I don't like to come home to. No one there, lights off, and completely quiet expect for when my cat leaps out of me from a dark corner in the playful attempt to give me a heart attack. So to fill the void of empty silence which seems to pervade the air, I turn on the TV for background noise. Unfortunately I am addicted to trash television background noise usually means Toddlers and Tiaras, Jersey Shore, Pawn Stars, or any of those terribly depressing shows about addictions and other crazy people with problems. Pretty soon I lose my focus and think, "No! I can't take out the trash now! I have to see more of this person ruin his life with heroine!" Who can think about actually going to buy groceries after watching Extreme Couponing? It makes shopping seem futile and wasteful due to the fact that I actually have to spend money. I don't need real life!
This morning was the first day of my senior year of college, and after I got up I had to figure out what to do with my time before school. I thought I could cook some eggs, but then I looked in the mirror and realized that make-up needed to happen RIGHT NOW before such trivialities as sustenance could be considered. After that I faced another obstacle - what to wear. It's my senior year and my classes are up a hill, so heels are definitely out. It's going to later so I need to wear boots, therefore I need to wear skinny jeans to put inside said boots. I'm not skinny yet so I have to find something that covers me, so there goes the majority of my shirts. Is it cold? Should I wear a scarf? OK. Outfit done. Now what the hell is going on with my hair. What position do I sleep in to even make it look like that?
Of course eating is simply out of the question at this point now that my hair was in such a deplorable state. Breakfast is only for people with nice hair, so I skipped it and ate an apple in the car. Priorities.
Other difficult decisions I have faced recently include trying to decide whether to purchase New York Times OR Cosmopolitan on my Nook, buy a map update for my GPS or save money/constantly become hopelessly lost in attempts to find most locations, and currently, sleep or blog and work on random projects, none of which have anything to do with school. Sleep was probably the right decision around 3 hours ago.
I just have to add this because it was so stupid: I am on a laptop typing this. That's an actual laptop with a big screen and a full keyboard and access to the internet. A second ago I thought, "this blog needs a picture. I should look for one!" So I pulled out my iPhone and pulled up Safari. FAIL.
Picture of the Day: School > Sleep
This morning was the first day of my senior year of college, and after I got up I had to figure out what to do with my time before school. I thought I could cook some eggs, but then I looked in the mirror and realized that make-up needed to happen RIGHT NOW before such trivialities as sustenance could be considered. After that I faced another obstacle - what to wear. It's my senior year and my classes are up a hill, so heels are definitely out. It's going to later so I need to wear boots, therefore I need to wear skinny jeans to put inside said boots. I'm not skinny yet so I have to find something that covers me, so there goes the majority of my shirts. Is it cold? Should I wear a scarf? OK. Outfit done. Now what the hell is going on with my hair. What position do I sleep in to even make it look like that?
Of course eating is simply out of the question at this point now that my hair was in such a deplorable state. Breakfast is only for people with nice hair, so I skipped it and ate an apple in the car. Priorities.
Other difficult decisions I have faced recently include trying to decide whether to purchase New York Times OR Cosmopolitan on my Nook, buy a map update for my GPS or save money/constantly become hopelessly lost in attempts to find most locations, and currently, sleep or blog and work on random projects, none of which have anything to do with school. Sleep was probably the right decision around 3 hours ago.
I just have to add this because it was so stupid: I am on a laptop typing this. That's an actual laptop with a big screen and a full keyboard and access to the internet. A second ago I thought, "this blog needs a picture. I should look for one!" So I pulled out my iPhone and pulled up Safari. FAIL.
Picture of the Day: School > Sleep
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